• Endometriosis
• Uniquely Female

When Endometriosis Makes Love Hurt

Endometriosis causes plenty of emotional pain. It also causes physical pain during intercourse, according to 50 percent of women who have it. “Sharp, stabbing, jabbing, a deep ache” are ways women have described it. They say the pain can last for up to 48 hours after intercourse, and the intensity can go from mild to excruciating.

Endometriosis is a pain that’s made worse because of the damage it can do to your relationship with your partner. While doctors work toward a cure, they encourage you to remain hopeful and to follow this advice for keeping your relationship healthy.

Have “The Talk” with Your Partner

Healthy communication can prevent the two of you from drifting apart.

When sex is painful, the anticipation alone can make you tense. You may prefer to skip intercourse altogether, which can make your partner feel rejected. Healthy communication can prevent the two of you from drifting apart. Let your partner know exactly how you feel during intercourse. Here are some common symptoms to discuss:

1. The deeper the penetration, the greater the pain
2. Pain is worse just before or during your period

Here are some common emotions to discuss:

• Your fear of intimacy because it may lead to painful intercourse
• Your guilt about letting your partner down
• Your feelings of inadequacy
• Your fear of losing the relationship
• Your fear of infertility
• Both of your needs to love and be loved
• Your partner’s frustration and feelings of rejection
• Your partner’s fear of hurting you
• Your partner’s guilt about causing you pain

It may be an uncomfortable topic of conversation, but open, honest communication can build confidence and reassurance. Your relationship can be improved when you share your feelings. Trying to conceal the pain often results in unconsciously withdrawing from your partner. Some couples seek advice from their physician or a sex therapist.

Experiment Passionately

Do you remember “making out” in the back seat of the car? How can you relive that passion? Experiment with ways that can lead to some pretty great orgasm without the pain that penetration may cause. See if the pressure and pain can be lessened with a different position or less penetration. If the thought of intercourse makes you tense, experiment with ways to relieve the anxiety. Stay committed to making sex pleasurable for both of you.

Patience and understanding are keys to keeping your intimacy intact while you work through the pain of endometriosis.

Source: Endometriosis.org; International Society for Sexual Medicine